Boys Just Wanna Have Fun
by Miss Higher Power
Summary: At first it's cute, the way they do everything together.


By a freak stroke of luck, both Puck and Rachel end up in Philadelphia for school.

They decide to skip the whole terrible roommate step and move in together.

Rachel's dads think it's a fabulous idea, having a big, strong man to protect their daughter. Besides, living together is just a hop, skip and a jump away from a wedding, and they would love nothing more than for their daughter to marry this nice, Jewish boy who takes such good care of her and has such promise.

Puck's mom is torn. On the one hand, she thinks it's awful that they're going to be living in sin for at least four years, as Noah has assured her that he and Rachel won't even be thinking about getting married until they're done school. On the other hand, it's Rachel. If Noah is with Rachel, he's not out impregnating blonde, Gentile girls. She'll keep her opinions to herself unless he gets Rachel pregnant. The minute that happens, she will be marching them down to the synagogue and standing behind them with her father's old shotgun until they've got rings on their fingers.

Rachel's dads didn't think it made sense to just throw money away on rent. They convinced Puck's mom to look into buying a place that could be used as a rental property once Puck and Rachel didn't need it anymore.

So they live in this awesome brownstone that the Messrs. Berry have major plans for once they're finished with it. And while Puck's mom only put in a quarter of the cost, it'll earn her a nice little income later.

* * *

><p>For the first year, everything is great. There's a slight adjustment period while they get used to living together, but it doesn't take long before they can't remember what it was like when they didn't live together. Rachel has someone to keep her warm whenever she's cold, and Puck never has to worry about being walked in on while he and Rachel are getting busy.<p>

Things start to fall apart in their second year.

* * *

><p>When Sam transfers to the University of Pennsylvania, Rachel thinks it's fantastic.<p>

She and Sam have always gotten along famously, and once Noah had sorted out his feelings about Quinn and Beth and started dating Rachel, he and Sam had gotten along very well.

Rachel thinks they should offer one of their spare rooms to Sam. Puck thinks it's a bad idea.

"Why wouldn't we ask him to move in? We have all this extra space, and we love Sam."

"Yeah, we love Sam. But I love you more and sharing our house with Sam would put a strain on our relationship."

Rachel admits that he might have a point but decides that she at least has to make sure that he's well taken care of. She can't imagine how malnourished and unkempt Noah might have become were they not living together.

So Rachel makes sure to invite Sam over for dinner at least one night during the week and once every weekend. She also makes sure that she or Noah run into him on campus once a week so that they can make sure he at least eats a decent lunch. She always makes sure that she has leftovers for him to take home and she bakes extra goodies to send home with him as well.

No one is going hungry on her watch.

* * *

><p>One of the things that Noah and Sam had bonded over in high school was their mutual love of hockey. You don't grow up in a town where the temperature in winter is colder than a polar bear's pajamas and not play hockey. When it's too cold to play hockey, you watch it on TV. Sam loves the Montreal Canadiens, and Puck is a hardcore Philadelphia Flyers fan. Rachel is partial to the Anaheim Mighty Ducks. She just loves that movie and that Joshua Jackson is just so attractive.<p>

Her dads bought them season tickets to the Flyers for Hannukah, but when the Canadiens come to town, Rachel insists that Sam take her ticket and that the boys have fun.

She thinks this might be where it all goes wrong.

* * *

><p>At first it's cute, the way they do everything together.<p>

They go to the grocery store together. Noah hates going to the grocery store on Saturdays, but it's really the only day that he has a big block of time. It's definitely less of a chore when he goes with Sam.

Noah lets Sam use their washer and dryer instead of having to go to the Laundromat. It makes sense to Rachel. Why wouldn't they let Sam do his laundry at their place? They play video games while they wait for his laundry to finish. Usually when Sam's laundry is done, all three of them have dinner together and watch a movie. The movies are becoming increasingly male in their subject matter.

She's glad that Noah has a friend.

* * *

><p>She finds it less cute on Noah's birthday. She's spent all day cleaning the house and slaving away in the kitchen to make Noah's favourite birthday meal. It's a recipe from his mother that is extremely complex and requires a lot of prep work.<p>

Rachel has the whole thing timed out. If everything goes according to plan, the meal will finish cooking while she gives Noah his birthday present.

She's just slipped into said birthday present and is checking the meal one last time when she hears the door open.

Needless to say, she is less than impressed when she walks into the hall in some of the skimpiest lingerie she's ever worn and is greeted by Noah and Sam.

She's even less impressed when, after he finishes laughing (at her, not with her), Noah suggests they save that for later and that she get dressed because Sam's taking them to dinner.

Rachel is both mortified and furious.

* * *

><p>Over the next few weeks, Rachel complains to Santana about Noah's relationship with Sam.<p>

"I love Sam. I really, really do. But it's awful. The other day I basically offered myself up on a platter while Sam was over and he kept playing video games. If I'm offering sex and Sam calls, Noah will tell him to get lost, but if he's already over, Noah will turn down sex. Noah! Turning down sex!"

"Fuck that, Ray. You want me to send Kurt to town, see if his gaydar picks up anything?"

"They're not having an affair, Santana. They've just got this ridiculous bromance going on. I feel like Sam's the other woman."

"Ray, you've gotta kill that shit now. If Puck's turning down a fuck, then something's wrong. You gotta show that idiot who's boss. Give him an ultimatum."

"I don't think it's that serious."

"Whatevs. It's your funeral."

Those words will come back to haunt her.

* * *

><p>She doesn't give Noah an ultimatum, but she does start dropping hints that she's not pleased.<p>

It's hard though, because he's never home. He's always out with Sam or Sam's always over. She doesn't want to make Sam feel uncomfortable, because it's not like she wants him to disappear altogether. She'd just like to see a lot less of him.

She starts calling Sam Noah's boyfriend.

"Your boyfriend's on the phone."

"Will your boyfriend be joining us for dinner?"

"What does your boyfriend think?"

She knows it pisses Noah off, but she thinks he deserves it.

In a week, he'll deserve a lot worse.

* * *

><p>On Philadelphia's coldest day in the last 10 years, Rachel's car breaks down just outside of town. She gives vocal lessons on Saturday morning to a little girl who lives about 20 minutes out of town.<p>

She immediately calls the motor association and is told that the wait for a tow is over three hours. They tell her that she should have someone come pick her up, and they'll call once her car has been towed.

She calls Noah but doesn't get an answer. She leaves him a polite, but insistent voice mail message asking him to come pick her up.

When Rachel hasn't heard from him half an hour later, she tries Sam. Chances are if Noah's not answering his phone, he's with Sam. Sam doesn't answer so she leaves a message for him and tries Noah again, leaving another message when he doesn't answer.

Two and a half hours into her supposed three house wait, she gives up on trying to call them. She's already frozen solid, she'll just wait the last thirty minutes. She'll just call a cab from wherever they tow her car.

* * *

><p>Four and a half hours after her original call, a very kind old man, who looks like he's too old to walk, let alone tow cars, arrives to take her car. He takes one look at her and tells her he'll take her home before he takes her car to his shop.<p>

It's almost entirely dark by the time she arrives home. There are no lights on, so she makes her way up the steps in the dark. On the second step from the top, she slips on a patch of ice. She manages to stay upright, but wrenches her back in the process.

Rachel's fingers are so cold that she fumbles the keys and drops them into the snow now covering her front stoop.

As she searches through the snow, her back throbbing, she finally breaks down and starts to cry, the tears freezing on her cheeks.

She finally finds her keys and manages to let herself into the house. Rachel removes all of her outdoor clothing and puts it away neatly, as usual, and then goes upstairs and crawls into bed fully dressed.

Once the painful tingling of heat returning to her extremities has stopped, Rachel runs herself the hottest bath that her still freezing body can stand. She lights some candles, puts on the kind of music that Noah hates, gets into the tub and cries until the water goes cold. She lets out enough water to allow her to run more hot water and attempts to pull herself together.

She eventually gets out of the tub, still somehow cold. She pulls on her warmest, ugliest pajamas, her fluffy, pink bathrobe with the sheep on it, and her warmest fuzzy socks. She then slips her feet into the moccasins that Noah's mom sent to her. Noah hates the entire ensemble.

She grabs her quilt from the armchair in their room and heads downstairs. Rachel goes into the kitchen to make herself a cup of cocoa and heat up her wheat bag for her back. It's as she's putting the soy milk back into the fridge that she notices the message board.

_Gone to indoor rink w/ Sam._

_Back late._

_Love, Me._

And suddenly she's not feeling sorry for herself anymore. Rachel is fuming mad.

She cooks his meals and washes his clothes. She reads through his papers before he submits them. She buys presents for his mom and his sister. She puts out no fewer than three times a week. She thinks she's a pretty good girlfriend.

And this is what she gets? Ditched for a boy? Hung out to dry when she really needed him?

Rachel is a big girl, and she can most certainly take care of herself, but she thought that the point of a relationship was that you didn't have to. You could lean on someone else for a while. When things got to be too much for you to handle, your partner was supposed to help carry you. She thought she and Noah had that.

Rachel takes her cocoa and her wheat bag into the living room and sits down to watch TV. She thinks she'll watch something with strong women who don't take crap from men.

* * *

><p>Puck finally arrives home sometime after 11:30. He's surprised that Rachel's still awake. She likes to be in bed by 10:30, 11:00 at the latest.<p>

"Hey, babe. What're you still doing up?"

"I've been waiting for you." She says it all sweetly, but he knows he's in the dog house, and he's not sure what the fuck he's done. "Did you have fun with your boyfriend today?"

"He's not by boyfriend. Stop calling him that."

"I'll call him whatever I want. When you were out _with your boyfriend_, did either of you happen to check your phones?"

"No, did you need me to pick something up?" He calls over his shoulder as he walks back into the front hall and pulls his phone from his bag. Eight missed calls. No wonder Rachel's pissed. She hates it when he doesn't answer her calls. He starts to check his messages and starts to realize why Rachel's so mad at him.

He walks back into the living room and sees the way she's bundled up, and immediately moves toward her.

"Are you okay? I'm so sorry. My phone was in my bag, and I didn't hear it ring. Did you try Sam's phone?"

"Of course I tried Sam's phone. You spend more time with him than you do with me! If he had breasts, I'm sure I'd never see you." Puck feels like he's been slapped.

"That's total bullshit, Rach."

"Really? Because last week when Sam was over and you came into the kitchen, I asked you if you wanted to go upstairs and you said 'maybe later, Sam's over'."

"You said you wanted to show me something that you'd bought. I figured it was clothes."

"It was! From Victoria's Secret."

"Well, how the fuck was I supposed to know?"

"I did that thing that drives you crazy, where I look up at you from under my bangs while I run my hand down your chest and hook my fingers in your belt. You have been on the verge of dying and that move always works."

Puck tries to think back to that day last week. She had. She'd done that and he'd gone to play video games with Sam. Oh, god.

"You need to break-up with him, Noah." Rachel tells him firmly.

"Okay. Whatever you want."

"I don't mean forever, but this little thing that you two have going on has to stop. I don't want to see Sam for at least a month." Puck just nods his head. "I mean it! I don't want him here. I don't want you there. No texting, no emailing, no…whatever. And when I decide that I'm ready to see him again, no more than once a week unless there's something very important, for which you will gain prior approval. No ambushing me!"

"You got it." He's silent for a moment. "Can we at least have him over for dinner to break the news? I don't want to hurt his feelings."

"Fine!"

* * *

><p>They have Sam over for a lovely meal. After dessert, Rachel excuses herself to the kitchen to do dishes and leaves Noah to break things off with Sam. She stands with her ear to the kitchen door the entire time.<p>

"Listen, buddy, I think we need to spend a bit less time together." Noah starts hesitantly.

"What? Why?" Rachel peeks through the door and sees Sam's face. He looks very confused.

"It's just that I haven't been spending enough time with Rachel, and after the other day…"

"No, yeah, I totally get it, man." Sam says as he starts to get up his chair.

"It's not you, it's me." Noah says, placing his hand on Sam's arm. "I've just gotta find some balance."

"Totally, dude." Rachel wants to laugh at the absurdity of it all. This is like a real break-up.

"Once things have cooled off, we can start hanging out again."

"Right." Sam looks so disappointed that Rachel wants to tell Noah to forget everything she said. But then she remembers the weeks and weeks of either never seeing Noah or listening to Noah go on endlessly about Sam's opinion of various things. No, this is all for the best.

After Sam has left, Noah comes into the kitchen.

"Are you alright, Noah? I know that must have been hard on you." Rachel says sympathetically.

"I just feel bad for the guy. I have you, but he doesn't have anyone." He says as he pulls her into a hug.

"Don't worry," Rachel tells him, letting him in on her plan. "I'm going to find him a real girlfriend."


End file.
